No Raise - No Overtime

If you read my last blog, you read about my husband not getting a raise this year.

When he got home yesterday, he handed me a letter from the mayor. It explained that no city employee would be able to work any overtime.

This may not seem like a big deal, but to us it is a very big deal. During the spring and summer, Brad works alot of weekends. He gets paid overtime for this of course. We take that money from the overtime and save it for the winter when he is not getting any overtime. I don't know what we would do without it.

Surprisingly, hubby took this pretty well. He says hopefully it will be worked out by next spring/summer.

Also, it's easier for him to take this news knowing he has this job interview today and he may be able to tell the City where to stick it soon.

He's at the interview right now. Say a quick prayer for him please! He was really, really nervous!

Thanks guys!

A Camping We Will Go....

We've had good moments this week and bad moments. I guess that means it was a "normal" week, huh?

First the bad.

In the span of two days, we found out that Brad's parents cannot (or will not?) help him with the cost of school. This bites. We were really assuming they would. Not that we want handouts or anything, but these are the people that bought us a computer and had it shipped to our door without any prior knowledge from us. Or the people that tried to buy us a refrigerator online until we found out about it and told them, politely, no thanks. We'll buy our own. The people that show up with four new tires shoved in their backseat for my vehicle. Don't get me wrong, it is definitely nice for them to do that kind of stuff, but it just gets weird sometimes. So maybe now you can see why we were a little surprised. Although I guess I need to remember that the price of a refrigerator does not really compare to the price of a graduate degree.

Next, we found out that Brad is not getting a raise this year. Remember, he works for the City's parks & rec department. The city budget is in a "crisis," so no city employees are getting raises this year. Not policemen, firemen, and especially not the guy who cuts all the grass on the fields (that would be my hubby.) An interesting sidenote to this is that the city put in a Splash Pad this summer. A water park of sorts. It cost a fortune. And it wasn't quite the hit that it was expected to be. Granted, it opened later than expected and we had alot of bad weather around its opening, but still it was a sort of disappointment. The city heads are saying next summer will be better since they will have a whole summer to work with. And hopefully better weather.

My husband feels like the city would have been better served to forego the splash pad and give raises to their employees! Of course, the city has told them that if the budget gets straightened out, etc. that they may receive raises yet. I'm not holding my breath. According to my husband, there are several thousand dollars "missing" and the city accountant has already left his job. Not sure if he was fired, pressured to leave, or what exactly. But it seems like it could get very interesting over the next year or so.

But maybe Brad will miss all that.

Now for the good.

First, Brad has a job interview tomorrow. Yeah! He is so excited. Trying not to get his hopes up but it's hard not to. He would be sales manager over guys traveling and selling landscape stuff. (Forgive me, but that's about as technical as I can get). We do have questions about the position, but he's almost sure it would be more money and no weekend work. I will keep you guys posted on how it goes.

Next, we're going camping this weekend. Yeah! We've waited months and months for this little weekend getaway, and I can't believe it is FINALLY here. My parents, my sister, her husband, and their two girls, and the four of us are going camping. This is a yearly tradition with my family. We usually find a state park and rent cabins. This year we changed it up a little bit and have rented campers at a campground near the water. I am so looking forward to it. Just sitting around, grilling, talking, eating, and doing nothing special. No cell phones, no computer, no TV. Ahhhh, heaven.

Well, I will be back next week as soon as I can. I will have to tell you about the interview. Just pray that this is THE JOB that will allow us to pay for Brad's classes and fulfill God's will. That is surely our prayer!

Love you guys!

Any Advice?

Would God call my husband to a ministry, then not give him the means to accomplish it?

Brad feels God has placed a call on his life to become a marriage counselor, especially to help men struggling with sexual issues.

The trouble is he needs a degree in marriage and therapy counseling to do this. The bigger trouble is that getting a master's degree is very, very expensive. The biggest trouble is that we do not have any money.

So what to do? We are determined not to take out another student loan (we're still paying off a student loan from a "going-back-to-school" stint my husband did a few years ago. )As strong as Brad feels this call on his life, we feel just as strongly about staying away from more crippling debt.

So what do we do?

Brad has applied to Liberty University. They offer the degree online. That would be the ideal setup. He could keep his day job and go to school too.

Does anyone know of a good grant, scholarship program, etc., for adults wanting to further their education? What do you think of the idea of us asking our church to help us? Or his parents? We're just not sure what to do.

Thanks for letting me vent my thoughts, however scattered they may be.

I hope you all had a worshipful experience at church this morning.

Love you guys.

If They Ask, I Will Tell

Things have been up and down here lately. Hubby and I haven't been in the best of moods. Most of it my fault because of my "issue." My issue being, can I say it and not be judged? Lack of libido. No sex drive. Cold. Frigid. Prude. And the adjectives could go on and on. Hubby gets so frustrated, and I completely understand, I do, but it's like I can't make myself feel frisky when I don't, ya know? I could analyze myself to death over this and try to figure out why I'm like this but I have a feeling even when I figure it out, I would still be this way. (Refer to quote in post below). I've gotta do something or hubby is going to go crazy, er, crazier. Anyway, I don't want to take up the whole post on this issue-although I'm sure I could-but I would like to know if any of my readers deal with this problem - please tell me I'm not alone! Is there anyone else out there that could take it or leave it where sex is concerned?

Something pretty cool happened today, and I would like to share it with you. My husband goes to Celebrate Recovery every Sunday night he can. This means he misses church with his family. I don't really like that, but I like it less when he is not in recovery, so I don't fuss. Anyway, since he is not with me at church, I get the questions. Where is Brad? Is Brad okay? Is Brad sick tonight? Are you by yourself? Where is that deadbeat husband of yours? (Okay, the last one has never been said, but I see it in their faces). I have been covering for him by usually saying he is in a meeting and leaving it at that. But I'm sick of it. So now I'm going to say it. I'm going to stand up straight and say "He is at Celebrate Recovery."

So I did this Sunday night. Well, I did it 50% of the time. About four people asked, and with two of them I stood up straight and said, "He is at Celebrate Recovery." The other two was a little intimidating, and I said, "He's at a meeting." Well, forgive me. This is a new skill I'm learning.

I told two people. And guess what? One of those people called our house today. She talked to Brad for about half-an-hour or longer. Come to find out she had a problem with prescription drugs a few years ago and because of her job is required to attend meetings, be drug tested, etc. Whoa! This is a girl we considered our friend, she is in our Sunday School class, and we did not know. Granted, we did not know her when she was struggling with her addiction, but apparently when we met her she had not been clean but for a few months. And we didn't know anything. She shared with hubby her struggles and how she had wanted to share with someone in the Sunday School class, but she did not think anyone would understand. She thought she would be shunned. Oh, how sad. But thank the Lord, she has shared her story now and I pray she feels a peace and comfort in the fact that she is not alone in her recovery. Even though her and hubby are recovering from very different things, the process is probably alot the same.

Maybe, just maybe, there are more people sitting in our church pews wanting to scream for help. Perhaps, just perhaps, they are sitting in the pews of your church.

I'm thankful I told her where hubby was that night, and because of her courage, I will tell 100% of the people that ask. Then I'll sit back and watch God work.

Hubby's Visit

Hubby went to visit his cuz in prison this past weekend. He says it was very emotional for both of them. I will try and describe to you what he said it was like.

Of course when you arrive you have to be processed. Hubby had already been approved as a visitor, but there were more forms he had to fill out once he arrived. Everyone had to have a picture on file, and since this was hubby's first visit, he had to have his picture made. Once they were done with the processing, they were put in a line. Every other person or so would be pulled to the side and patted down. They would go through one door and stop until everyone was in and the door was closed behind them. Then the next door would open and so forth.

The visiting area was a room about the size of my house (which is pretty small). The visitors were taken in and asked to find a seat. Then they sat and waited for their family member/friend/prisoner person to enter the room. Hubby estimated 200 or more people were in there by the end of the day. All talking at the same time with concrete floors and walls. The echo was almost unbearable. And there was absolutely no privacy. You just pulled up a couple of chairs and sat and talked to each other.

The saddest thing to me was the fact that Steven (that's not his real name, but just for the sake of the story, I'll call him that) could not get up once he sat down. The visitors could get up and move around, go to the vending machine, bathroom, etc. But the prisoners came in the room, sat down, and could not get back up. If they did, they were escorted back to their cell. This saddened me. I'm not sure why exactly. I guess it just hit home that they have absolutely no freedom. None.

They visited for about two hours and then the call came for all visitors to leave. The prisoners stood on a line and were escorted out the back door to a place hubby never got to see. Steven had told hubby that he would be strip searched after he left. Again, no freedom, no privacy.

Yes, Steven broke the law. He was online chatting with what he thought was a minor but all the time was the FBI. Steven is not a bad person. In fact, he is one of the best people I know.

Therefore the purpose of this post: This can happen to anyone. If it can happen to Steven, believe me it can happen to you or your hubby. I would have never dreamed in a million years that Steven would be there. Not a million years. I believe if every would-be-sex-offender or would-be-criminal of any sort had to tour a prison, it might act as a great deterrant.

Now I must speak of how this has affected my hubby. I asked him point blank how this has affected his recovery. He said there was a positive and a negative aspect. Of course, the positive aspect is just what I mentioned above. He sees what can happen if you allow your lust/flesh to completely take over and he does not want to lose his family and end up in jail. Great reasons to continue in an active recovery! On the other hand, it is very depressing. And the sadder my hubby gets, the more disconnected he becomes from me and all the guys in his group. The more disconnected he becomes, the more isolated he becomes. The more isolated he becomes, the more he feels inadequate. And boom. He acts out.

Now this has not happened and I pray it does not. But he is certainly at the depressing, sad, and disconnected stage right now. We've hardly talked at all this week and when we have tried to talk we both ended up with bad attitudes toward each other.

I do have a praise though! On the way to the prison, there are two adult bookstores with huge flashing red XXX signs inviting you in. I had forgotten all about the fact that hubby would have to pass these. (I missed a great opportunity to worry!) :) Nonetheless, he made it past them, but said he was quite anxious. He called his accountability partner and talked to him until he was past the exit.

On a completely different and lighter note, I have a cousin in the hospital having a baby boy right now! Hopefully soon I'll be getting a phone call saying baby boy is here and healthy. I'll let you know!

Have a great day everyone.