He's In!

Hubby received an e-mail yesterday stating he has been accepted to seminary! Wow! What an amazing moment! God is taking a guy with a degree in turfgrass management and putting him into a marriage and family therapy program at a seminary! Who would have ever imagined? Only God.

And only God can make this happen. I say this because we have no answers to any of our questions. The questions about money, living arrangements, money, class schedules, jobs, money, and oh yeah, did I mention money?

As you know, we have really strived this year to become debt-free or closer to it anyway. We have done well although we are not there yet. We are saving more and more money and I feel good about that. However, we have nowhere near a college education saved up. And we still have to pay our monthly bills. Oh, my dear God in heaven, what do you have in store for us?

Hubby was excited as he read the e-mail. He really needed this confirmation...it did wonders for his psyche. It only took him about 2.5 minutes to go from excitement to nervous fear however. God, I pray for our faith to rest solely in you. When my hubby graduates from seminary, we will have no other choice but to look back and say "It was all because of You."

Our nemesis, the devil, wasted no time as usual. Hubby called me from work this morning and sounded very defeated. He told me about a dream he had. A dream so vivid he felt as if he should call and confess to me and apologize. He dreamed he was in front of a computer binging on porn.

My hubby has been sober from internet porn since January. He had a slip-up in the September before that. Before that one, he had stayed sober for almost 9 months.

However, this dream got to him. He said it was the most vivid dream he has ever had. It really shook him up. I tried to encourage him by reminding him of the truth and encouraging him to look toward the future and not the past.

With that said, I would like to end with this thought. Beth Moore has a bible study called "Stepping Up." My church is doing this together on Wednesday nights. As you might know, Beth has a past history of abuse. She states that she never wants to forget the pain. That may sound strange, but I so know where she is coming from.

I never want to forget the pain I felt after discovering my hubby's "secret life." I never want to forget the despair and hopelessness I felt after discovering I had been lied to over and over for years on end. I never want to forget the feeling of my heart literally breaking inside me and silently crying out for someone, anyone, to care enough to ask.

I do not want to forget the pain. Why? Because if I can remember the pain, I will be more equipped to come alongside others and truly listen. Listen and know their pain. Please, God, never let me forget.

Thank you for reading this post. I was excited to share this news with you guys! Please pray for us as I know the devil will be after my hubby more than ever. I will keep you informed.

Amy