So I told you I would post about our fight. It was really more of a discussion, a one-way discussion. Okay, I really just got chewed out by my hubby. It's not really that exciting, and it is even a little humorous when I look back on it, but I will tell you about it anyway.
We have a friend in the hospital and we were going to visit her. Kids were not with us, it was just me and hubby.
Now before we left for the hospital, hubby had made "a move" (I'm not sure the most appropriate way to say that), and I had turned him down cold. But I had my reasons! I wanted to finish my work, get supper done, go to the hospital, come home, and then maybe we could arrange a rendezvous. After all the other stuff on my list was done. Get it?
So hubby was furious. As noted in a previous post, he gets rejected alot. I'm just not into it. My doctor says it's my birth control pills and that if I stop taking them, my libido would come back. But that's not a risk we are willing to take. We are happy with our two happy, healthy children and would like to think our little family is finished growing.
Anyway, we're in the truck. Hubby lays into me. He basically says something has got to change and this time it ain't him. I've never seen him quite so animated and belligerent about not getting any. He was really in bad shape. I just kept saying, "I don't know what to do." Finally, he looked at me, banged his fists on the steering wheel while yelling "HAVE SEX!!!"
That's the funny part that we've laughed about since then. He yelled at me to have sex. Strangely funny.
The part of the one-way discussion I did not like was when he talked about how hard he is trying to stay pure and clean and porn-free but that not getting any on the homefront made it unbelievably difficult. I felt a little threatened by this, as if he was saying to me, "if you don't do this, I have no other choice but to do that."
I have come to the conclusion that hubby and I have never had a healthy sexual relationship. I told him when he becomes a certified counselor, I want to be his first client. I have lots of hangups when it comes to being intimate.
Hubby is better now of course, (and I'm sure you can guess why), but how do I keep this from happening again? Yeah, yeah, I know, have sex.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
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2 comments:
LOL, Amy,
The way you ended this just cracked me up!
Quick question, are you a Weiss fan or no? He has a pretty good philosophy surrounding how often sex should be happening in a marriage. If you want info, let me know.
I can see, too, how you would feel threatened by his suggestion. Is it possible he was just trying to share his feelings with you? Not taking sides, just thinking out loud. Sometimes, what they SAY and what we HEAR can get a little crossed, especially when anger gets thrown into the mix.
This sounds like a "discussion" h and I have had on more than one occasion. Hang in there. Glad you are both doing better!
Love,
D
I wouldn't take his "threat" to personal. Although, I think you should say something about his "threat" to him. What is more important to him, "his needs" or the couples needs? I hope that makes sense? I also agree that he is venting his frustration sexually.
Weiss is a stud when it comes to this stuff. So I echo D's advice.
Blessings,
The Confessions of a Porn Addict
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