I hope you guys are patient as I "talk out" ways to make this blog better. I have realized that I need pictures. I have added music, now I need pictures. Don't you think?
Now I have been to some blogs that are just FULL of pictures and have very little text. That will not be me. But, I do think it will personalize this blog a little more if I add pics. That along witht the fact that I have two adorable children make me think I need pictures.
When I started this blog, I was obsessed about anonymity. I did not want anyone to know who I was. Now I'm not worried quite so much. I would feel very safe posting pics on here now.
So I guess I have to keep my camera handy. And I'm not the best picture-taker by the way. Like I said, I hope you guys are patient.
On a totally different note, and a sadder one, my hubby is SOOOOOOO down right now. Seeing that his dream of starting seminary is 99% shot right now, he is feeling like a failure.
He said to me last night that everything seemed to be going so smoothly before we shared our "vision" of what our future would look like with everyone. Our "call" so to speak. When no one knew what was going on, positive things seemed to be happening almost daily. Since we shared with our families, friends, and our church family, the brakes have been put on and as hubby put it, he is left looking like "an idiot."
He has shared with me that inadequacy is one of his core values that led to his porn addiction. He has never in his WHOLE LIFE felt "good enough," or adequate to complete any task that may lie ahead of him. And with that mindset, he usually lived up to his expectation.
Guys, I'm worried about him if this dream of becoming a counselor does not work out. He truly feels God has called him to do this; however, I can see severe depression ahead for him if this does not come to be. He will feel like the ultimate failure; the kind God himself could not even help.
Am I worried about him having a relapse into his addiction? Yes. The farther down in discouragement and despair he gets, the harder it is for him to resist. So yes, I am worried. But I have given it to the Lord.
I have tried to figure out a way to be encouraging to hubby, and this is what I've thought about doing. I'd like to know what you think. The end of this month marks 6 months of porn-free life for hubby. I thought about getting a babysitter and surprising hubby with a little celebration to commemorate this milestone. Is that corny? If you are the addict reading this, would you like your wife to do that or would it freak you out? I'm just curious.
Well, thanks for reading again today.
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2 comments:
To be so bold . . . I think your hubby needs to go see the doctor, a therapist and a psychologist. Seriously. Take it from one addict. I finally had a heart to heart with my Doctor and the outcome has been so positive. I can share more if you like, just e-mail me.
Blessings,
Michael,
My hubby has tried the therapist route. We went together but had to stop due to time/money constraints. He continued with a different counselor who started a men's group. It was very beneficial to hubby; however, the counselor abruptly dropped all his clients stating he needed to work some things out in his own recovery. Come to find out, this counselor who had done hubby so much good was in actuality having an affair the entire time he was leading the SA group. This was a definite blow to hubby, but he found a different counselor with a different group. That one did not work out either due to personality differences and the fact that hubby never felt they were "getting anywhere." So now, hubby meets with a group of guys who are all Christians. They meet every other week, but there is no "certified counselor" present. The group supports each other. It has been good for hubby, but I have wondered if he is still needing to see a counselor one-on-one. He also does Celebrate Recovery each week. A funny sidebar, the counselor who dropped hubby due to his own affair is in hubby's CR group. Weird, huh?
As far as the M.D., he is already on antidepressants. To my knowledge, he has never spoken to his doctor about the details of his depression/anxiety.
Thanks for your support, and as always, thanks for reading.
Amy
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