THANK YOU to the ones that left comments on my previous blogs. Believe me, they do not go unnoticed! It really makes my day to know someone took time out of their busy schedules to read my wandering thoughts on this crazy journey.
I can see the problem with blogging already......T-I-M-E. I think about posting a lot, but finding the time to sit down and do it is a whole other story. I know how frustrating it is to continually check a blog and rarely find a new post, so I will try my best. If any of you are stay-at-home, work-at-home moms, I'm sure you can appreciate my time issue. My 2-year-old can only take Momma staring at the computer screen for so long, and my 7-year-old fights me for his own computer time!
The cruel irony of this new-found love I have for this blog is that I hate the internet. Let me put it another way, I hate what the internet can be. It can be a great educational tool but it also can be a wide open door to all manner of perversion. As you might guess, my hubby's addiction consists mainly of online porn. Before the internet, though, he had to do it the old-fashioned way with mags and video stores, etc., but as you well know, the internet has made the addict's fix a whole lot easier to get.
I remember sitting here at this computer searching for answers online, just like some of you are doing, wondering if there was anybody out there who knew what I was feeling. I needed some validation of my feelings and the only place I could go was online. But I would have moments where I would literally want to throw up thinking about what hubby had been viewing on this same computer screen where now I was searching for answers; where he was filling his mind with other women's images, I was attempting to fill my mind with anything to give me hope. Oh, the irony of it all.
But as you can tell, I resisted the urge to throw my computer out the window. That would have been a bad decision on two counts. I need the computer/internet for my job, and I also would never have known how many other couples are struggling with this addiction.
If you think you are alone right now, you are not. God is with you and He loves you. The best news of all, he is forever faithful to you. Not just until someone prettier comes along, not just until someone more exciting comes along, and not just when He feels like it. Forever and ever and ever and ever God is faithful. Doesn't that sound like a rock worth resting on?
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3 comments:
I love it that more and more women who are wives of addicts are willing to share their story. It is important for a couple of reasons - first you build a community of supportive people. Second, it is good for addicts to read the emotional pain filled stories, because it helps break through the denial.
Have you heard of a book entitled An Affair of the Mind by Laurie Hall? (Found Here)
I think you'd find some solidarity in the pages of her testimony.
i found your blog today - just days after i started my own for the same reasons - and you are so right - i cannot describe the feeling of finding others like me.
imlivinginzion.blogspot.com
thank you.
Zion,
So glad you found me. I haven't been posting much lately, but will try to get going again soon. E-mail me anytime you would like! I'd love to hear from you again soon, okay?
Amy
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