Friday, March 7, 2008

Our "Other" Struggle

Okay, so it's not our only other struggle, but it's the one taking center stage right now. I could probably ask you the two top reasons for strife in your marriage, and you would say sex and money. I know that's what I would say. My hubby would say we don't have enough of either one.....

So this year, starting January 1st, we got on a plan (for our money, not for sex, one thing at a time please). I can't call it a budget exactly, but I can call it a plan. It's a simple plan really. Get out of debt. I want to stop living paycheck to paycheck. I want to tell my money where to go instead of it telling me where to go! I want to write my tithe check joyfully not fearfully.

It's amazing to think how passive I've been about our money. We've been married 10 years. Where have I been??? I tell you where I was. I was the wife who thought her hubby knew as much about how to spend/save money as her daddy did. I mean, isn't that a requirement for husbands to know how to take care of that stuff? So, whatever hubby suggested, I was all for it.

Now before I go any further, let me just say this. We do not live an extravagant lifestyle. We never have. I am about the lowest maintenance woman you are going to find. I've never had a manicure, pedicure, and I barely make it to the beauty shop. I can't tell you the last time I went out and bought something just for me. With that said, we still have made some stupid mistakes. Dave Ramsey calls it the stupid tax. I won't even get into it all, but nevertheless we are stuck with debt. And now we are shoveling our way out.

So back to January 1st. We bought a financial workbook and sat down and started seriously laying it all out on the table. What our income is and what our debts are. Can you believe in 10 years we had never done that before!?! I got a notebook and I am tracking every penny that comes into the household and every penny that goes out. Unfortunately, January showed us that we spent more than we made. Not good. In February we did a little better, $70 on the plus side!

We have totally stopped eating out (I want a Big Mac SOOOO bad). My hubby has stopped getting a Diet Coke and candy bar every time he puts gas in his truck. I am a serious coupon clipper and price comparer now. It's generic brands or nothing! We are discussing the idea of disconnecting our cell phones and maybe even going to rabbit ears for the TV. Hubby gave me a new set of rings for Valentine's Day in 2003, and I'm selling them. I have my original wedding bands and have started wearing them again. I would never consider selling them, but I can part with the new ones. They don't have much emotional attachment, and the money can go right to the debt snowball. Uncle Sam is sending us money sometime in the summer, so that will help us as well. It's tempting to take a vacation and blow it all, but I know in the long-run, getting rid of this debt will be much more beneficial. We are also planning a garage sale and selling everything we can.....and I mean everything. Fortunately (and unfortunately) the spring/summer is a really busy time for hubby's job. He will be working a lot of overtime. And all his overtime will be going towards debt.

I don't imagine we will be totally debt free by December 31st, but I believe we will be a lot closer than we are now. And that's a good feeling!

I will have to post another time on my hubby and his job history (and how I can see now that his addiction was affecting and still is affecting this part of his life). I'll have to tell you how we hit rock bottom after he drove up in the driveway and announced he had quit his job. I'll have to tell you how we had a 3-year-old at the time and found out five days later I was pregnant. I'll have to tell you how we had no income, no health insurance, one vehicle, and lots of bills to pay. I'll have to tell you how different things would be if I would have known then what I know now.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Money is a huge issue in a relationship. I wish I could say I have it all figured out, however I don't. But I can say that realizing there is an issue and taking steps to prevent it getting worse is a far sight better than alot of people have gotten.
Prayer and commitment will drive your decision to get out of debt. Stay faithful, but don't forget to set some aside for yourselves. You need a break once in a while, once a month is not unreasonable for a Big Mac.

Michael said...

It is amazing how far God has brought you. From that moment of devastation to a point of actually working together on a budget. Praise the Lord. God is good. Obviously at the time it doesn't feel that way.